The News This Week Jan 1-7

As it is the first blog of the year, I'll start with happy news. News that no self respecting Englishman wouldn't be happy to hear (or in this case read). Eleven men true and good won the test series and kept the cold embers urn thing. But let's not get too carried away that the England cricket team spanked the Australians with their stick things. Because let's face when it comes to matters of international sporting achievements we do tend to get thumped by everyone else. Unless it is some chaps or girls wearing unbelievably tight costumes cycling around in circles or that bird that went down an icy tube on a plastic tray, we tend not to maximize our potential on the international sporting arena.

Monday saw in the city of Bristol the release of the Jefferies bloke, who was held in relation to the Yeates murder. It was good to see our nation's media not getting too carried away with condemning the man before he was accused of anything, much less convicting the man before he was charged with anything. Do you see what I did there, for those of you who didn't spot it I was being satirical (actually I was taking the piss). I hope his legal team do the right thing and drag the papers through the courts for printing these stories. But if anyone has seen his picture and let's face who hasn't the bloke does look like one of those meerkats from that fucking annoying advert.

Also in the news this week I was heartened to see that the local authorities did such a splendid job keeping the streets clean and tidy. If this is how, the coalition governments want to save money this is how it should be done by not doing it at all I hope the Cleggonator and Cameron are listening. But don't you think it is interesting that we never see the PM and the Deputy PM in the same room together, but let's face it when they look in the mirror in the morning the slimy Eton bastard sees the other slimy Eaton bastard and vice versa. But what really narks me about the rubbish not being collected haven't these lazy bastards got civic amenity sites where they can deposit rubbish once their usual receptacles are filled? I am sure they do, and what is good about them is they are drive through like McDonald's only they provide a valuable service and don't contribute to the fat content of the idle ones. Just on a legal point, there are other outlets that provide fat drenched food. I wouldn't want to upset any other fast coronary providing chains.

The other big story of the week has been the Eastenders cot death/baby stealing story involving that woman who represented us in Eurovision and was also in that Pie in the Sky program. Samantha Womack who I thought was one half of the band Womack and Womack, but it actually turns out she was once named Janus (thank you Google). By the way Sam good idea taking your hubby's name. I have absolutely no idea why I am writing about this story I don't watch the enders. If I want to be depressed I just chose channel 601 on Virgin Media and watch BBC News 24. And if I really want to squirm in my seat I hope that misogynist John Sopel is on. Disclaimer Sky News ITV and Channel 4 news also employ misogynists too. Actually I have nothing to say about the Enders storyline, I actually think that it says more about the press than the writers and producers of the show. Being under so much pressure to fill air time and tabloid column inches, they will print or broadcast anything that doesn't require any talent or journalistic integrity. Just ask Chris Jefferies, if you don't believe me. And just one last point Eastenders is a FICTIONAL show and as such should not be broadcast on the news. If you want to know what is happening in Albert Square here's a novel idea WATCH IT then you won't need to read about it.

And finally, there will be no and finally portions to these epistles as I find them less uplifting than a Liverpool or Chelsea performance, and about as exciting as an episode of one man and his dog. Trust me compared to that show watching paint dry has its advantages (so says the man who loves to watch snooker). Stay tuned for next weeks edition which will be imaginatively called The News This Week Jan 8-15.