More Look A Likes

Following on from the Assange and Maude look a likes I am going to stay on the same theme.

This time I have found two Premier League players who have look a likes in an unusual place. The first is Gareth Bale who is a dead ringer for the character of Esteban from the classic 80's or 90's television cartoon series Mysterious Cities of Gold. Anybody remember that great cartoon.

This is Gareth Bale/Esteban

This Esteban/Gareth Bale

The second look a like is a bit more frightening/disturbing look a like. Which on of the 2 is the most frightening and most disturbing image is up to you to decide but I think the real life person is the most frightening in this example. Former Everton and current Man City Defender Jolean Lescott and the character from the El Mund Gira episode from season 4 of the X Files, El Chubacabra. Take a look and see what you think.

Jolean Lescott/El Chubacabra. I am really scared now.

El Chubacabra/Joleon Lescott still frightened.

I am right Lescott could have been cast for that episode of the X Files and the producers could have saved themselves an absolute fortune on make up. Watch that episode of the X Files Lescott could be this guy.

All My Life Trouble in the Middle East

With the events of the last few weeks in Egypt and Libya and Bahrain I can't help thinking that the region for whatever reason has not been peaceful. There hasn't been a year gone by when there hasn't been some shit happening there. I can remember the American's bombing Libya. Then the Libyan's taking revenge and bombing the Pan Am jet over Lockerbie. And coming down through the years various Arab leaders have been both in and out of favour with the Western Allies. During the Iran and Iraq war both the U of K and the US of A backed the Saddam Iraq regime and ten years later we were kicking his ass end out of Kuwait. And from that time onwards he was completely out of favour with us.

During the 80's on the daily news menu hardly a day went by when there wasn't a mention of the Intifada on the West Bank or stories of the US Marines coming under attack in the Lebanese capital of Beirut. Also the arms for hostages and western citizens being seized by the PLO. Whilst at school we studied the Islamic uprising on the West Bank, and as part of our studies we were asked the question can there ever be real peace in the region. That was some twenty years ago and I came to the conclusion that it could never happen for 2 reasons. The first reason being not whilst there were dictatorships such as Gadaffi's Libya, the Iotolha's Iran and Hussien's Iraq. And the second reason being Israel's policy of not negotiating with terrorist organisations that were being backed by these regimes. But I always found that excuse to be more than a little on the side of the hypocritical. And so far I have been proved right.

Now that there has been a peaceful change of regime in Egypt the situation in the Middle East has its own snowball effect. In days gone by the powers that be in each of these nations would simply have quashed these rebellions with an iron boot. But in the age of the internet their leaders know that the whole world is watching. Gone are the days when the press can be kicked out and the local news channels could be shut down. And the protestors could be quietly dealt with.

But with the current climate in the region and Israel's attitude to the Islamic world will the question become will there ever be peace in the Middle East in my lifetime?

Has Everybody Got a Double

Francis Maude MP

Today I was watching the Politics Show on BBC1 with that ooze of toxic waste John Sopel. He was interviewing a suit full of fuck all namely Francis Maude. I did not realise he was an MP who sits in Cameron's and the Cleggonators cabinet. My first thought was why the hell is the ooze monster interviewing Julian Assange.

It wasn't until the caption came up with his name on that I realised it wasn't the wanker who leaked loads of classified shit, but instead it was one of our own elected wankers. Same old men in suits same old shit they both spout. Maude refusing to admit Cameron and Cleggonators "Big Society" is just a spin on the phrase "We're gunna pull the nuts from your trousers whilst your still wearing them."

Julian Assange Wikileaks Pillock

And Assange believing it is OK to leak documents about others and when some leaks some shit about him the wanker gets his French knickers in a twist. So I was wondering if everybody's doppelganger share the same character traits.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Assange Furious.

Reading yesterday's Times newspaper I couldn't help but laugh when I read the following headline "Assange fury as police file on sex claims is leaked online". It seems that the Wikileaks founder thinks it is ok to leak items which he feels the public have a right to know about, and that is all fine. But when something is leaked about him in connection with two counts of sexual assault all of a sudden that is something of a wrong thing. Is it in the public interest for use to read about this guy trying to force himself on two girls, or does this bloke not want his credibility to be questioned. As far as I am concerned he has no credibility. He and his organisation have set back diplomacy a long way. Wikileaks clearly has no real idea how diplomacy is conducted.

I couldn't care less if he is guilty or not of the crimes he is accused of. But he thinks it is ok for him to ruin many diplomats' reputations and in many cases loose them their jobs but that is just fine and dandy. But as soon as the content of his lack of character is brought into question the rules seemed to have miraculously changed. These types of leaks are fine for him when the people he is ruining are distant far off anonymous people with no faces, but when it comes a lot closer to home it is somehow a very bitter pill to swallow. I wish to remind Mr. Assange if you can't take it, then you shouldn't dish it out. I am also reminded of one of my best friend's favourite sayings "the emptiest vessels do tend to make the most noise".

As far as I am concerned it wasn't in the public interest to leak these classified documents. And I hope that he will get his comeuppance and finally end up deported to the United States and face the limit of their laws for the alleged crimes that he will face trial for. He seems to think that there should be no consequences for the more than dubious actions he has taken, disclosing sensitive and highly classified documents. All he has succeeded in doing is angering the most powerful government in the world. And I am no expert but that is an incredibly dumb thing to do.

So if this twat is angry about the file on the sex allegation charges being leaked then I couldn't give a flying fuck if he is upset, and nor could the numerous diplomats whose lives he has ruined. And this could be the ultimate case of what goes around comes around.

 

 

Yesterday I wanted to punch an 81 year man in the face. He was rather bigoted and racist would that have been bad form?

After I finished work yesterday I was sat in Brizzle bus station waiting for a mechanical contrivance to board for the journey home. I couldn't help but over hear two old gits and I don't mean the funny ones from Harry Enfield and Chums. They were talking about the state of life in contemporary British society; this old fucknut was talking about how he had served in the Royal Navy during the WW2. And that he didn't fight for King and Country to allow these foreigners in to take English jobs. And that there were too many robbing fornicating Pakistani gentlemen and too many fornicating gentlemen of Afro-Caribbean descent over here. I rapidly came to the conclusion this idiot had no real grasp of the reason why his generation went to war in the first place.

Now let's just ponder on what Hitler and Co. wanted to stop happening across mainland Europe, freedom of speech is the first thing that springs to mind. Frankly after hearing those 2 old fuckers talking for twenty minutes I would have been glad if we had lost the war, then I wouldn't have had to endure the GBH of the ear drum, which was not only insulting to my intelligence but the most ill informed fascist tirade I have ever heard. Firstly the complaints they made about these people living on hand outs from the government. If he had logically thought out that statement he would have realised that the time he spent in the navy his wages were paid by the taxpayer. Where does his state pension come from and presumably he also gets supplemental extras like a heating allowance. I just wish Cameron and the Cleggonator could have been there to witness their "Big Society" in action.

The only conclusion I can come to with regard to this question posed in the above title is it probably would have been bad form to punch him but I probably would have temporarily felt better. But the punch would have been wasted effort on my part, because it wouldn't have altered there thinking with regards to racism and bigotry they have spent a lifetime forming. And it wouldn't have been very easy to lamp him as he was sat with Andy Gray and Richard Keys, they were forming the South West Chapter of the Tea Party.

Here endeth the lesson.

Thursday 20th January

The Horny Old Goat and the Jailbait Hooker Part 2

Good old Silvio is back in the news again this time having a go at the Milan movers and shakers in the legal system. He is claiming magistrates have mounted what he is calling a "Politically motivated campaign to have him ousted". What does the dirty fucker think is going to happen when he is being investigated for having sex with an underage girl, who has clearly been paid off? I can't think why else a girl would be given monies jewellery and a car. The Italian PM has claimed the investigation into this affair is unconstitutional and flawed. Flawed why because it is true? He also wants to pass a law to prevent magistrates from investigating elected officials.

He says that he has nothing to be ashamed of. If you define ashamed of shafting a 17 year old girl and then paying to keep her trap shut then, job well done. The 74 year old has refused to attend any of the questioning sessions, and disputes that Milan's magistrates have the legal right to pursue the case. He is claiming that they do not have either the "functional or territorial competency". He said his failure to attend the sessions was to endorse there illegitimacy. Well to me silence speaks volumes.

The Milan officials Berlusconi claims have engaged in spying tactics worthy of an anti-mafia investigation. 150 agents questioned young girls who Silvio claimed were just his dinner guests. Girls whom he claimed were held for hours without legal assistance, and food deprived. Claiming these girls was treated like mafia suspects. Treatment he said must not go unpunished. The 385 page report much of it dedicated to the allegation that a Moroccan belly dancer Karima El Mahroug who was at the time only 17 was paid to have sex with him. Under Italian law it is illegal to pay to have sex with an under 18. But the only thing that Berlusconi and Karima both agree on is that they didn't have sex. I suspect it is because he told her "I give you lots of money car and jewellery, you say we never have sex" and she just said "Alright hand it over".

There you go kids case solved.

Wednesday 19th January

National Socialism Alive and Well in Prestatyn.

So how exactly should Prestatyn council deal with the gypsies it has in its area. Quite simple really according to Mayor Mike Eckersley, they should be dealt with the old fashioned 1930's German way. During a meeting last November the Mayor was heard to have said regarding the gypsies that "Hitler had the right idea". So is this the Tory Mayor's response on how to deal with minority groups in contemporary modern Britain. The remark was made during the council's Corporate Equalities meeting. Prestatyn council have claimed that Herman's I mean Mike's comments have caused embarrassment to the office of the Mayor. What makes this even harder to believe is that the Fuhrer sorry Mayor has only offered to apologize for his remark. When the BBC tried to contact the Mayor's office they were told Heir Goebbels was unavailable for comment.

The chair of the meeting Dr. Christine Evans said it was a "stupid" comment made on the spur of the moment. She then continued "he used the word Hitler and how he got rid of them or something like that". On Wednesday councillor Mike German (does this story get stranger or what?) is to table a motion for a vote of no confidence in the Mayor. I have learned that Heir Eckersley already has his propaganda machine working. But the Welsh branch of the Nazi I mean Conservative party found that he had done no wrong doing. At the start of the next council meeting members from all parties are expected to take a pledge of allegiance to Prestsyn and its Furher.

In other related news the Mayor has asked the Polytechnic of Prestatyn to offer honorary BTECS to a Mr. Mel Gibson of California, and one Sarah Palin of Alaska. The town's planning committee is now deciding where to build the forced labour camp should be situated, and wondering whether the "Work will set you free" sign over the gate should be in Welsh or the more traditional German. Mike Eckersley doesn't care where it is as long as it is not on his doorstep. Although his preference for the sign is to be Welsh so when spoken out loud it won't sound so gay.

The source for this story was the BBC and although some of the content herein is factual a great majority of it is not. For the actual story click on the following link BBC NEWS. This will take you directly to the story.

Tuesday 18th January

The Cock and the Rodent.

This is a story that is strange that it couldn't be made up. Or if it is you would be glad you had written it. This story comes courtesy of the good old BBC news website. And it is also a story that could only happen in the good old U S of A. A prisoner being held in Nassau County Jail in New York State is suing the said correctional facility because whilst he was in his bed he said a rat like rodent chewed its way through his mattress and then proceeded to chomp on his little fellow and two of his fingers. I shit you not. If you like go to the BBC website and search for the name Peter Solomon and this story should come up, if not just Google that shit.

Solomon is suing the prison for negligence and racism. After being bitten by the little fucker, he had to be given a course on injections for rabies. But it does make you wonder why his hand was in such close proximity to his cock, and how did the rat know where to go, or did he simply smell the cheese? Solomon is also undergoing psychological treatment for sexual dysfunction. The judge presiding over the case said the Solomon legal team had presented sufficient evidence for the case to proceed. I wonder what Sarah Palin would make of this situation, she would probably post a picture of a body with cross hairs over other parts of the body that need to be chewed. The swing state would already be in red clearly.

 

Cornish Bed and Breakfast.

The bed and breakfast that refused to allow a gay couple to share a room, had acted unlawfully. The people who own the establishment are part of the God Squad, who believes that unmarried couples should not be sharing a room. Not this unbiased person I think that these owners go to the same church as Mel Gibson and Sarah Palin. The Church of the Protestant White Supremacist's. Hall and Preddy the two man in question said the owners had directly discriminated against them for being a gay couple. The two gents just wanted to have a weekend away together which is perfectly normal. They rang the B&B to make sure that it would be okay to take a dog to their property which was fine. So presumably the owners of the B&B clearly have no problems with bestiality. Which is not surprising with a name like Mr. & Mrs. Bull.? The Bull's had to pay the gay couple who are in a civil partnership £1500 damages. And if you are a gay couple looking for a quite weekend getaway do not book a room at the Chymorvah Hotel near Penzance. Palin and Gibson have booked all the room for their Tea Party's Cornish branch.

Monday 17th January

The horny old goat and the jail bait hooker.

More shenanigans from the ageing hipster Silvio Berlusconi who again has made tabloid headlines both on the continent and here in the U of K. This time with a hooker or as she described in her own spin as a belly dancer named Karima El Mahroug. The young girl who was just 17 at the time has told investigators she attended a party at Silvio's villa near Milan where the guests were said to have indulged in a sordid sex game called "bunga bunga". Although there is no suggestion that the 74 year shafted the girl. But there is evidence that suggests Italian PM gave some cash, a diamond necklace and a car, possibly for bunga bunga. The investigation into this allegation only came about after the Egyptian siren was arrested on suspicion of theft and the most powerful man in Italy told the Fuzz she was the daughter of the Egyptian pres Hosni Mubarak. But as Berlusconi is the main media mogul in Italy and their papers would probably describe bunga bunga as the Italian version of singing around the camp fire.

Extradition still a possibility

The chap from Westbury on Trym in Bristol Shrien Dewani legal team still has not ruled out that he could be extradited to South Africa to face charges for his wife's murder. But only if his legal team's set of demands are met. These demands include no pre-trial imprisonment and if found guilty no imprisonment until an appeal has been lodged and concluded. To me this gives Dewani an opportunity to scarper to a place with no extradition treaties, so if found guilty he will not spend a day behind bars. These conditions I have read about appear to desperate actions of a desperate man. Dewani is due to appear in court on Thursday for a preliminary extradition hearing. I am going to be following this story closely and will keep you posted in due coarse.

Congresswoman Giffords Update.

The BBC reported that the forty year old politician who survived a shooting in Tucson has now been taken off of her ventilator her hospital released earlier today. She has had a tube inserted into her windpipe to make breathing easier. She is listed as critical but appears to be recovering her doctor's say. And on that news I shall finish but more tomorrow.

The News This Week 8-14 Jan

Saturday January 8^th

Today's major story has been the tragic events which unfolded in Tucson Arizona. The shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Who by some incredible miracle managed to survive being shot at point blank range in the head. And as writing this entry is listed as being critical but stable. There were 17 people wounded and a Federal Judge and a nine year old girl were sadly killed by this nutter. He was carrying a 9mm semi-automatic pistol that had a thirty round magazine capacity. This incident again has sparked much debate as to whether or not America should change their gun control laws. But if past incidents over the last fifty years are anything to go by not a lot will change. Only after President Kennedy was assassinated it became illegal to order firearms through the post. President Clinton managed to pass a law which made which made assault rifles illegal but under President Bush Jr. that law was repealed. But all I think that will happen is that they will pass a law that makes these large capacity magazines illegal. It is difficult to get new gun laws passed as the national rifle association basically writes their gun control laws.

The idiot who was arrested at the scene is a 22 year old named Jared Lee Loughner, who according to every news report that I have read/seen on TV describes him as mentally unstable. No shit any man who walks into a crowd with a loaded handgun and starts shooting people clearly is not playing with the full deck of cards. The situation was also inflamed by Sarah Palin's website and twitter feed which posted a poster with cross hairs all over the American map and Giffords name was on this map. Why because she supports health care reforms and changing society for the better. But then Palin believes men and dinosaurs walked the earth together. I have read some on line articles that state she should be charged with something in relation to these shootings, but she can't be held responsible for someone else's actions. There are many laws on the US statute books, but being a moron is not one of them. If it was I don't think George junior would have got elected as pres.

 

Sunday January 9^th

Today saw the return of King Kenny to the manager's job of Liverpool Football club. But it wasn't exactly the fairy tale start to a new position. Manchester United managed to secure a win in the FA Cup third round clash. What could only be described (not to sound too much Alex Fergie but hinged on 2 bad refereeing decisions). The penalty which wasn't a penalty and the harsh sending off, of little Stevie Gerrard. Guess where my loyalties lie. But give it time and I am sure the reds will make something out of the rest of the season. Also today saw the end of the BDO darts championship but as I don't care or have any interest in darts I can tell you nothing about it. So I will ask did Eric Bristow win it.

Monday January 10^th

Nothing to report today as was to busy occupied (not unlike France from 41-44) with the snookerists swinging their clubs and rest things.

 

Tuesday January 11^th

News and twitter was saturated with the story of Mick Hucknall jr. I'm sorry I mean that twunt Edward Woollard. The cockhead who threw the fire extinguisher off of Milton Towers. He was in court today for sentencing and got given 2 ½ years held at her maj's pleasure. Quite rightly he was imprisoned for his crime. But the student types on the trending topic had a very real difficulty in differentiating between their right to protest and someone breaking the law. They fail to see that Mick did not and should never have the right to break the law. I wonder how many of the fools on twitter are actually or wanting to study law at their chosen universities. If any of you saw that footage of the fire extinguisher falling it is amazing that nobody was hurt or killed. I also think it ironic/funny that all of this happened at Tory party HQ. It's good to see Cameron and the Cleggonator's Big Society working so well (bit of politics there). Perhaps the coalition leaders should spin the increase in student fees as University bonus schemes.

 

Wednesday January 12^th

Today I found or rather was posted on twitter Sarah Palin's response to those in the media who think she is responsible for the shootings in Arizona. I will just post the link to the video. Palin Nailin herself. In this video she uses the phrase "Blood Libel". I wander if she realises that this phrase was used in Eastern Europe to spread hatred for the Jewish population. By claiming that the Jewish faith would kidnap and murder Catholic children for their religious rites and ceremonies. It is an even more ill judged use of the phrase because the Congresswoman is also Jewish. You can all make your own judgements on this foolish lady. And if she invites you round for a tea party decline and run away very fast.

 

Thursday January 13^th

Today in the news I saw an article on the Michael Jackson case. His personal doctor Conrad Murray has been officially indicted for his manslaughter. The Los Angeles prosecutors suspect he administered a lethal dosage of sedatives and anaesthetics. The man has pleaded not guilty. Today's hearing also upheld the Californian Medical Commission's decision to suspend his license to practise medicine. In June of 2009 Murray admitted administering Propofol after giving a lighter sedative when the moonwalker couldn't sleep.

After doing some research I found that this drug is a powerful one for somebody to take. It has been speculated that the quacks inability to call and ambulance was a contributing factor in his demise. After giving Jackson the drug he (Murray) went to the bathroom and when he returned found the Jacko unconscious and not breathing. He tried to resuscitate the singer before making several phone calls, to who knows who? Then finally dialled 911.

Doctor Murray said that Jacko had become addicted to propofol after he had been taking it six times a week over the last six months of his life. For those of you who don't know propofol is a powerful and prolonged usage causes hypnosis and amnesia in the person. In patients that are ill too much usage can cause lethal metabolic derangement. This doctor must have known this. Jacko never looked in A1 condition for the last few years of his life. I can just see the quack asking jacko if had the drug and jacko responding no. And with the drugs hypnotic effect he could have persuaded the wackmeister to do what ever he wanted.

 

 

 

 

The News This Week Jan 1-7

As it is the first blog of the year, I'll start with happy news. News that no self respecting Englishman wouldn't be happy to hear (or in this case read). Eleven men true and good won the test series and kept the cold embers urn thing. But let's not get too carried away that the England cricket team spanked the Australians with their stick things. Because let's face when it comes to matters of international sporting achievements we do tend to get thumped by everyone else. Unless it is some chaps or girls wearing unbelievably tight costumes cycling around in circles or that bird that went down an icy tube on a plastic tray, we tend not to maximize our potential on the international sporting arena.

Monday saw in the city of Bristol the release of the Jefferies bloke, who was held in relation to the Yeates murder. It was good to see our nation's media not getting too carried away with condemning the man before he was accused of anything, much less convicting the man before he was charged with anything. Do you see what I did there, for those of you who didn't spot it I was being satirical (actually I was taking the piss). I hope his legal team do the right thing and drag the papers through the courts for printing these stories. But if anyone has seen his picture and let's face who hasn't the bloke does look like one of those meerkats from that fucking annoying advert.

Also in the news this week I was heartened to see that the local authorities did such a splendid job keeping the streets clean and tidy. If this is how, the coalition governments want to save money this is how it should be done by not doing it at all I hope the Cleggonator and Cameron are listening. But don't you think it is interesting that we never see the PM and the Deputy PM in the same room together, but let's face it when they look in the mirror in the morning the slimy Eton bastard sees the other slimy Eaton bastard and vice versa. But what really narks me about the rubbish not being collected haven't these lazy bastards got civic amenity sites where they can deposit rubbish once their usual receptacles are filled? I am sure they do, and what is good about them is they are drive through like McDonald's only they provide a valuable service and don't contribute to the fat content of the idle ones. Just on a legal point, there are other outlets that provide fat drenched food. I wouldn't want to upset any other fast coronary providing chains.

The other big story of the week has been the Eastenders cot death/baby stealing story involving that woman who represented us in Eurovision and was also in that Pie in the Sky program. Samantha Womack who I thought was one half of the band Womack and Womack, but it actually turns out she was once named Janus (thank you Google). By the way Sam good idea taking your hubby's name. I have absolutely no idea why I am writing about this story I don't watch the enders. If I want to be depressed I just chose channel 601 on Virgin Media and watch BBC News 24. And if I really want to squirm in my seat I hope that misogynist John Sopel is on. Disclaimer Sky News ITV and Channel 4 news also employ misogynists too. Actually I have nothing to say about the Enders storyline, I actually think that it says more about the press than the writers and producers of the show. Being under so much pressure to fill air time and tabloid column inches, they will print or broadcast anything that doesn't require any talent or journalistic integrity. Just ask Chris Jefferies, if you don't believe me. And just one last point Eastenders is a FICTIONAL show and as such should not be broadcast on the news. If you want to know what is happening in Albert Square here's a novel idea WATCH IT then you won't need to read about it.

And finally, there will be no and finally portions to these epistles as I find them less uplifting than a Liverpool or Chelsea performance, and about as exciting as an episode of one man and his dog. Trust me compared to that show watching paint dry has its advantages (so says the man who loves to watch snooker). Stay tuned for next weeks edition which will be imaginatively called The News This Week Jan 8-15.