Is Australia Good?

The following brain rant is about the great things Australia has contributed to modern popular culture. But I couldn't think of any great contribution that the boys from downunder have made, but the only exception I can think of is INXS. But Michael Hutchins didn't no how to fasten his belt properly. We do have to thank them for Danni and Kylie, not for their talent, but because they are really good window dressing.

Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe and Eric Banner and that guy who played Jim Robinson have made it big US of stateside. But they can never be forgiven for giving us Neighbours and the slightly worse Home and Away, which sounds like a program for wife swappers. Then there's that Donavon chap, you know the bloke who was in Joe's Coat the Lloyd-Webber musical. But Australia can be thanked for accepting to take our b-listers letting them loose in the jungle, and have them performing humiliating tasks for food. It is the modern equivalent of watching monkey's playing with tools. Only less entertaining.

Then there is the way in which they have ruined our native tongue, for instance calling University UNI, the bastsards. At least our American cousins have kept the language nearly the same even if they spell the words incorrectly and don't get irony.

Then the sports they play, Australian "NO" rules football. That's the game where the umpires are dressed like English butchers. They do also play rugby and cricket quite well. There two of the most widespread sports played which we invented and don't seem to be too good at. Yes this is sour grapes. But it was gratifying watching the Aussie PM having to present our rugby team with the winners medals and Webb Ellis Trophy.

Then they have got those fucking huge jumping, leaping things, I mean what do they do, they hop around the countryside and get shot by farmers. Then there's emus and ostriches the fastest creatures on two legs and what do they do when the dingoes come a hunting do they leg it like any creature with survival instincts would do. No. They say to themselves "Oh look a dingo, I'm the fastest thing on two legs, I could run away, but I think I'll bury my head in the sand." Then what happens, that's right they get mauled by a bunch of savage wild dogs. They deserve everything they get. Koala's there is another species that gets my blood boiling. Cute things.No. They spend their lives eating eucolyptus leaves, stripping trees of thier folliage and adding to the destruction of the forests, and speeding up the demise of the planet. Can you imagine what their farts must smell like, it doesn't bare thinking about, eucolyptus smells rank at the best of times.

I know that I have completly lost the thread of the title of this rant, because I know nothing about Australian culture. The morale of the story is clearly do your research, then I might have had something coherent to say on the matter. But still Never mind. Onwards and upwards.