The Dumbest Things Heard or Read

This is kind of a follow up to my posting on famous last words. The theme of which is as entitled. After being back at college for the last six months albeit on a part time basis I never cease to be flabbergasted at some of the things I hear people say. But I suppose I should start this essay with the earliest dumb things that my ears have had to endure.

Going back probably ten years or so when I was as the Americans say a bus boy in the kitchen. Our boss took us all to one side and said that he had given us all a 3% pay increase which was all well and good. Then after he left the kitchen the person I shall name Girl asked what "IS A PERCENT?" now I thought that was quite a dumb thing to say, but the longer I worked with her it appeared the dumber she got. One of the chaps who worked in the bar had been to some do or another and was suited and booted. So I went from the bar to the kitchen and said "(Name left out) is sat in the bar wearing his whistle and flute". And Girl went down to the bar and came back and said "HE IS NOT WEARING A WHISTLE AND FLUTE, HE'S GOT A SUIT ON".

In another work related issue one of the customers who I shall just name as Moron was getting on his soap box at the time of the last foot and mouth outbreak. He was complaining about all the smoke from the pyres that were burning the corpses of the cattle. And had I not been there to hear it for myself I wouldn't have believed it. He said "YOU DON'T SEE THEM BURNING ANY COWS IN LONDON" to which I showed that statement the contempt it deserved by responding to it with the retort "THAT'S BECAUSE THERE ARE NO FUCKING COWS IN LONDON." Then there was another occasion when some of the locals and I were discussing the pros and cons of the internet. Moron said "WELL I THINK THE INTERNET IS A PASSING FAD THAT WON'T CATCH ON". Now if I were to tell you that Girl and Moron were shagging each other it would probably come as no surprise, after all like is attracted to like. That old saying familiarity breed's contempt is wrong. It should be familiarity just breeds.

Then at about the time that Tony Blair won his first general election Moron was complaining about the way in which the new government would ruin countryside living complaining about the fox hunting ban Moron said these Westminster types have no clue about what goes on here. And that it was a shame that more people didn't vote Conservative. After having just complained about this he was asked which way he had voted. Moron said "I NEVER VOTED". Unbelievably dumb I think you will agree.

On Monday at college when I was waiting in line to get a coffee the two youngsters in front of me were talking about their weekend. One of them was upset that his girlfriend had just left him and he couldn't understand what he had done wrong. When his mate asked why she had split up with him his response was as dumb as it was stupefying, he said "SHE WALKED IN ON ME WHILE I WAS GETTING A BLOW JOB OF HER BEST MATE". It was either stupidity or arrogance on his part that he didn't see what he had done wrong. But I think it was a combination of the two.

But without a shadow of a doubt over the last five years the dumbest thing that I have ever read was a statement made by a member of the acting community. It was regarding the recent story about Roman Polanski. I think you no where I am going with this. It was the statement I read in one of the national newspapers and it was a quote from Whoopi Goldberg when referring to the allegations of child rape. The quote read "WELL IT WASN'T RAPE, RAPE WAS IT". That would be and is the equivalent of describing the holocaust as "WELL IT WASN'T GENOSIDE, GENOSIDE WAS IT". I am all for people rallying around their peer groups, but had that been own of their own whose daughter had been raped there would have been a call to arms against him. Unless I am mistaken there can not be anything more stupid than that. Even with long research I don't think I could top that statement.

And remember people try to think about what you say. Think before you engage your mouth because you never no, it could be you who becomes the subject of a blog. Or message on Facebook or even the topic of discussion on Twitter. For the obvious reasons the names of the people described in this story have been left out. Not for regard of their feelings but for the fact I wish I hadn't heard these statements and in some cases met these people.

So in closing I will leave with a statement that was on of my best friends sayings "IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE QUIETLY JUST LEAVE."